Lies

I hate liars. I really do.

I'll start by giving a background as to why I hate liars. As some people may know, I used to be a liar. I used to be two-faced and just generally very unpleasant as a person. I used to steal things, like food from shops or money from my Dad. 

I used to lie a lot. My mother, you see, used to ask me to lie about Tracy, my ex step-mother. My mother hated Tracy and would use me as a weapon against her and my father. I was very young and I was afraid, because my mother told me she would kill my father if I didn't go along with it. 
So, I started to lie. I can't remember what lie it was that it stemmed from, I think it was that my father had hit me with a belt, but in the end, I had to come clean. I was so scared that I had just signed my father's life away. He's still here though, and so am I. I was so afraid of the truth because my mother had conditioned me against it. But I realise now that, had I not told the truth, my father would've ended up in prison for child abuse and I could be in a foster home or worse, with my mother.

So you see, sometimes people can't help lying. I'm not justifying lying at all but sometimes, you can understand why people lie.

What I don't understand though, is why people lie when telling the truth would be more profitable. For example, I found out earlier today that someone that was there for me in the aftermath of a very, very messy break-up was indeed, a liar.                                                                                 A liar by omission, they call it, when they tell you parts of the truth but leave out the important details. Two days after this break-up, this person, whom until recently I trusted, relayed to me that my ex boyfriend had indeed slept with a girl he'd been previously linked with. Now I, of course, was very angry. This person though, was very good at keeping himself in a good light by trying to be fair to my ex. Which I thought was a bit funny, seeing how those two hated each other.

I ended up getting close to this guy and I actually quite liked him, he was incredibly funny and liked some of the same things as me and was always ready to listen. I confess, I did mess him about a bit and I'm ashamed to say I went out with him for two days before breaking it up, simply because I was hurting too much to be with anyone else. 

A few weeks later, I spoke to my ex by text and later by phone call. In the texts, he called this person a liar and said 'no-one close to me knows/likes him, he's a liar.' He also mentioned this person had been heard saying that he was going to play me and this other girl(another one who had been linked to my ex) off against each other. I thought, 'hmm, okay, maybe he's just saying that in retaliation.' Walking around outside the train station later that night, I ran into someone my ex and this person knew mutually. He asked me had I slept with this person. I told him I hadn't and asked where he'd heard that. 'This person has been telling everyone that you did,' he replied. Again, I became furious. I confronted this person and his excuse was that it was a poor game of Chinese whispers. Fair enough I thought, sometimes things get lost in translation but I was starting to get very, very suspicious. This person wouldn't tell me who had told him the aforementioned rumour and became very vague when confronted about the other one. He eventually told me the name of this source, from whom he'd heard about my ex supposedly sleeping with someone else. I thought, fine. I won't talk to her about it because I'm too emotionally charged.

So I gave it a few more weeks. In fact, today, I asked her about it. She said my ex had never told her and that she wasn't even sure it was true, in fact she asked me if it was true! She also told me that this person had said he broke up with me because he liked someone else! 
Okay, yes, there are worse lies that have been told but the way I see it, this person saw an opportunity to simultaneously gain a girlfriend and annoy my ex, whom he hates, in one go. He usurped a situation and lied to me and lied to his own friends. What strikes me as funny is, that had he been honest about his intentions, I probably would still be his friend now. But he wasn't. He's a liar, he's double-handed and a deceiver. 

This person is not to be trusted. 

Roads

Roads. They all start somewhere, don't they?  Roads begin at birth and end at death. 
We all start from the same place and eventually, no matter what twists and turns that are made in the road, we end at the same place. 
Sometimes we hit a pothole. Sometimes the road makes a sharp turn, one the walker cannot foresee. 
Other times, we collide with someone else's road and begin to walk alongside them. 
When that happens, sometimes we forget that people are paving their own way through life so when someone leaves, we feel lost.

'Roads go ever ever on,
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea;
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June,
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.

Roads go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star,
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green
And trees and hills they long have known.'
- Bilbo Baggins, The Hobbit. 

I find this short passage embodies it wonderfully. 
I like it's portrayal how life, or 'The Road', will go on and on forever but when 'wandering feet' are weary of walking, they will 'turn at last to home afar.' 

I had an email from a family member earlier; he has mentioned that he views this blog so I will omit names to retain his privacy. 
The email was brief but he mentioned the anniversary of his wife's death - 12 years to this day. 
The email mentioned how he bought some daffodil bulbs and planted them - before mentioning how, even though this month in particular is hard for him, that he carries on 'walking his road' even though she is not here anymore, because he knows it's what she would have wanted. 
Something so simple yet so loving, even in the face of her death. 
I feel very proud to be related to this man. 
To carry on, even though the road is fraught with obstacles and potholes, is an admirable feat. 
I dedicate this post to this family member and I know that, even though his wife is no longer walking beside him, when it comes for him to turn to home afar, he will find her again, under cloud and under star.

Hello.

Congratulations upon discovering my new blog! Well, it's not actually new, I've had it for a few days but I kept putting off writing an introduction. Due to a friend sharing his frequent posts, I have mustered the courage to do the same. I do have another blog, on Tumblr, that I use to reblog pictures and document more personal things but despite having a few followers on there, I wanted to begin afresh. 

I am a student of English and I also enjoy Science, mainly Physics, and History. I would love to learn as many languages as I possibly can and to travel the entire world. I like writing as well but I wouldn't call myself a writer. I don't write frequently enough to earn that title but hopefully, with the birth of this new blog, that will change in due time. I would love to write books you see and I feel that I have great potential to do so but I am very lazy and find it hard to commit myself to a lot of things. /sigh 

Forgive me, I appear to have veered off on a tangent.  

As can be perceived from my background, my favourite author is definitely J.R.R Tolkien; I am a passionate lover of his works and I aspire to leave a mark on literature as half as much he has. I enjoy George R.R Martin and H.P Lovecraft as well! I try hard to not limit myself to only Tolkien and I will read anything but I always find myself at home with my nose in The Hobbit or Roverandom.

This blog will cover a number of different things, from my fierce love of LOTR to how much I love sushi and a warm cup of tea or how much I want to visit Salar de Uyuni. You'll find pictures of my cat, Theodore and posts about how much I can't wait to get my French Bulldog puppy(who I am going to call Gimli, no matter the sex). 

Anyway, this is only a brief introduction so I bring this to a close - for now. My friend is yelling at me to join him on Minecraft so I had better obey, before things get ugly!